So I'm just going to come right out and say this- being parents is much harder and much more life and marriage altering than we anticipated.
David and I have been madly in love with each other from pretty much the moment we met. We've always been that disgustingly cute couple that hardly ever fights and is affectionate in public. We still get asked all the time if we're newlyweds, and get shocked looks when people learn that we've actually been married for almost 5 years and have a baby.
We agree on almost everything- I kid you not. And believe me, it's not because one of us submits to the other to avoid conflict. We're two of the most stubborn, hard-headed, vocal, dominant, opinionated people you will ever meet. We're just lucky that we're stubborn, hard-headed, vocal, dominant, and opinionated about most of the same things. And when we do disagree on something we can (usually) make each other laugh about it and come up with a new "us" solution rather than a "my way" or "your way" decision. Because of this, we've had an incredibly blissful existence as a married couple.
When we got married, we heard over and over again that the honeymoon would end someday. We would constantly get comments like, "Eww you're still kissing like that? That'll change soon," or "Wow, you guys don't spend any time apart? Give it a few years..." It got to the point where it actually started making us angry. It doesn't make us angry anymore. When we hear someone say that now, it makes us feel sorry that they don't realize it doesn't have to end. We've always believed that a marriage will stay as spicy and young as you want it to be and are willing to work to make it be.
However, we had no idea how much harder you have to work at it after you have a child. It's not that you lose the "magic" or that your child becomes more important than your spouse or anything like that. Or at least we strongly believe it doesn't have to be those things. We're still madly in love with each other and we feel stongly about prioritizing our roles as husband and wife before our roles as father and mother. There's a great Ensign article by L. Tom Perry in support of this if you're interested btw. But because we are parents now, out of pure necessity we just end up with so much less time and energy to devote to each other. And that has probably been the hardest thing we've encountered in becoming parents.
Lest any of you despair (or gloat for being right after all- shame on you!) we ARE still making it work and are still just as much in love with just as much "spice" as ever. The honeymoon is not even close to being over. Getting Rhys on a regular sleep and nap schedule has been a major contributor to this. Now you all know the real reason why I'm such a baby sleep Nazi ;) Also, trading babysitting with other parents so we can have regular date nights again has been another marriage (and sanity) saver. These things, among others make it possible for us to have energy left over to do the little things that make such a big difference like have patience with each other, express gratitude and appreciation, have time alone together every evening, etc etc. And all of it together helps us be better parents to Rhys.
But even though these things are keeping our marriage young and strong from day to day- we could still really use a longer break to relax together, sleep in past 7 am, and not have to worry about getting home early to let the babysitter go home. So, since our 5th anniversary is coming up in July and since we were blessed with a great tax return this year, we decided we need a real getaway for just the two of us. We'll be living in Utah over the summer to save money, so finding a great sitter we can trust for Rhys wasn't hard at all- THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU HELEN! (David's wonderful mother).
After much vacation research, we finally found an amazing deal for 5 days at Mandalay Bay in Vegas. We're going to go to the temple, see David Copperfield, ride some rollercoasters, spend tons of time at Mandalay's beach, enjoy a day at the spa, and spring for dinner and a gondola ride at the Venetian (about as close to our goal of making it to Italy for our 5 year as we're going to get)!
I'm so excited! I think it will be an excellent way to get some uninterrupted rest, romance, and renewal. I'm also certain that in addition to being a great way to priortize and strengthen our marriage, it will also help us be better, more devoted parents to Rhys. I'm a huge fan of the concept of standing on higher ground before you can lift others. And because of that, I believe there is no better way to serve my children than to make sure their parents have a strong, loving, united marriage.
Anyway- that was a really long way of saying, we're going to Vegas, baby!
