Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Why Rhys will be getting caught up on vaccinations in Utah

Rhys was 4 months old when we moved to New York. He was current on his well-baby checkups and vaccinations. It took me about 3 months to get on the ball, and then to figure out where and how to apply for Medicaid here (which is another story) and about 2 months after applying to receive our acceptance letter and medical cards. At that point, we went back to Utah for Christmas break. So Rhys was 10 months old by the time I got him into his first doctor here to catch him up on his vaccinations.

If you've read my post "Immunizations? Fuggedaboutit!" you know how our experience with our first doctor started out. It went downhill from there. Our first and only appointment with Dr. Vitale was for a well-baby check and to get started catching him up on his 6 month shots. David went with me, which ended up being a really good thing for my sanity. To make a long story short, the office was tiny, dirty, and cluttered. The receptionist/nurse didn't speak a word of english. The equipment she used to take his weight, temperature, and measurement was ancient. Dr. Vitale was dressed in dirty, torn jeans and a hawaiian shirt. He had long, greasy salt and pepper hair tied in a pony tail with a long mustache and gnarly beard. He also had long, yellow, dirty fingernails. He had terrible bedside manner and his breath smelled.

He hurled a bunch of questions at me as we sat in his cramped office surrounded by stacks of newspapers, files, and other various clutter. He somehow worked in that the reason Mormons have so many kids is because it's the only way to perpetuate the cult, just like Jews and Catholics. Then he pulled out 3 phials of vaccines, rubbed some alchohol across Rhys's legs and without washing his hand or putting gloves over his filthy fingernails, slowly proceeded to give Rhys 3 shots. When he had finished, he didn't swab the bleeding or put a bandaid on as the blood began to trickle. We had to ask him for a bandaid after we realized he was not going to offer one. As we tried to comfort Rhys who was screaming bloody murder (which is not like him by the way, even with shots) he told us not to worry about comforting him because it wouldn't work right then anyway. I left in complete shock and disbelief. I cried all afternoon and felt like the worst mother in the world for allowing that dirty old man to get anywhere near my child with a needle. I felt like I should have jumped in front of him and taken it in the arm Secret Service style. Thankfully his legs didn't get gangrene and fall off, but that doesn't make me feel any better.

We resolved right away of course to find a new doctor. But as I asked around, I couldn't seem to find anyone that could say they were super happy with their pediatrician. I poured over the list of approved doctors, and finally decided I liked the idea of the Pediatric Clinic at St. Luke's Hospital which is just a few blocks down the road from us and directly across from Columbia University. My reasoning was that if it's part of a hospital, it should be clean and up to date. If it's across from a University, it should cater to a fairly nice element of people. Since it's a larger clinic, I figured there would be more of a wait and less personal attention than Dr. Vitale's office, but I thought was an okay trade-off if it could offer the other things that are important to me: sanitation, current medical knowledge, sanitation, english speaking staff, sanitation, and so forth.

Because we saw Dr. Vitale during the first week of March, I had to wait until April 1st to have the change in doctors take effect. As luck would have it, Rhys came down with a fever during the night and woke up pulling on his ears on April 1st. I called the clinic's number, which had been fairly easy to get an answer from a few weeks earlier- but no dice. We called all morning but to no avail. So David ran down to see if we could come in without an appointment. When he got there, it was pretty crowded and they told him to sign the walk-in list. He was the second person on the list, so he called me and said I'd better get down there. I got there at 10 am. We sat in the hot, crowded, filthy room with about 40 other people for 2 hours. Finally, they called his name.

They took us back to what looked like a pretty normal clinic, which made me happy. They took his temperature and weight, and then sent us back to the waiting room.

Another 2 hours went by before they finally put us in an exam room. It was way past his lunch and naptime at that point and the poor sick little thing had turned into a hot, puffy, red-eyed zombie. While we continued to wait, I noticed that the tissue paper on the exam table looked rumpled and used, so I changed it myself. We waited another half hour before the doctor graced us with her presence. She was nice enough, and took the time to make friends with Rhys before starting to examine him, but she didn't wash her hands before touching him either. Am I taking crazy pills here? Have the basic tenets of proper sanitation changed since I last looked?

She quickly looked in his ears, eyes, and throat and wrote us a prescription for amoxicillin. I explained to her that we had waited over 4 hours and asked her if it was always this bad. She told me no, that one of the other doctors had failed to show up and no one could find him. She'd had to cover all his patients until they located him and that it should be a lot better next time, especially with an appointment. In light of that and the fact that although the waiting room experience was horrible the rest of the clinic seemed up to speed (not up to the speed of most clinics in Utah, mind you- but up to speed enough for New York standards), I decided to keep our appointment today for his well-baby check and the rest of his 6 months shots.

Our appointment was at 10:45. I showed up at 10:40, prepared with enough toys, treats, and formula for what I thought wouldn't be more than 2 hours total at the worst. This time, I had a very healthy 11 month old to wrangle instead of a droopy sick one so it was much harder, especially because I didn't dare let him crawl around or play with the waiting room toys. But we handled it pretty well for the first hour.

At 11:45, they finally called us back. I wasn't happy that it had gone an hour past our appointment time, but I've gotten used to delays in this city so I was ready to roll with it. After the nurse measured and weighed him she sent us back to the waiting room saying she'd call us back in as soon as a room opened up. Is this sounding familiar?

2 miserable hours later, way past lunch time, way past nap time, out of entertainment, out of treats and with an empty sippy cup I finally decided we'd both had enough. The time I'd already invested wasn't worth putting us both through another hour (at least) and subjecting him to a slew of shots instead of getting lunch and a nap. Fighting back tears, I packed up and left.

I bawled unashamedly most of the way home as I expressed my frustrations over the phone to my sister. I don't know if the problem lies with what's available to us on Medicaid, or with what's available in NYC, or both. But I'm sick to death of it.

As I was coming in to my building, I passed my upstairs neighbor and told her a little bit about the ordeal. She told me she used to go to the same place, but has found a much better one now. She's also on Medicaid, but not the same healthplan as us so I'm not sure if I'll be able to switch to a plan that covers her doctor... and I'm not going to worry about it until September. I'm through with NYC doctors and clinics for now and I'm not going to deal with them any more than I have to until then.

And that is why Rhys will be getting caught up on the past 6 months of vaccinations at the blessed Utah County Health Department this summer.

Happily slurping down his well-earned amoxicillin

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rhys: in Pieces (Part 3)

The latest and greatest things about Rhys:

  • likes to shut us out of the bathroom- usually so he can get into the garbage and the toilet without being bothered.
  • has recently attended several of his friends' 1 year old birthday parties and had cake sneaked to him by Dad (which made mom VERY angry!)

  • likes to pick stuff out of the trash or off the floor and offer it to us, unless he's determined to eat it, which brings us to the next item...
  • will not stop eating things he's not supposed to no matter how many times we tell him "It's icky, we don't eat this!" He will shove it in as quick as he can if he sees we're going to try to stop him, and bites us REALLY hard when we attempt to remove it. Here is a list of the things I have found in his mouth in the past week: soap, a piece of plaster, 2 pebbles, egg shells, leaves, a dust bunny, 2 paint chips, and a few unidentifiables
  • understands give it to mommy, put it in there, all done?, come out of the bathroom, who's at the door?, where did it go?
  • loves family cuddle time- if we are cuddling he crawls over and climbs on top of us and gives us hugs and kisses

  • figured out how to move our hands to make us do things he can't do (or doesn't feel like doing) like push buttons or grab food
  • has NO fear. He will crawl away from us and out of sight as fast as he can. A couple weeks ago at church he took off without looking back and followed some strangers into a linger longer. He also tried to climb up to the podium during sacrament and got in the way of the sister who was trying to get up to play the piano. He then proceeded to take a nose dive off the stairs in front of everyone.
  • dramatically hits his head on the floor when he doesn't get his way

  • loves making the dining room chairs into an obstacle course crawling over, under and through
  • is obsessed with getting into the fridge- we have to open and close it as quickly as we can these days.
  • takes wonderful "naps" which consist of him playing by himself hooting and shrieking at his favorite teddy and blowfish toy
  • cries when Daddy has to go "buh-bye"
  • crawls at top speed to Daddy when he comes home and gives him big loves and kisses

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Rhys: in Pieces (Part 2)

The latest and greatest things about Rhys:

  • is obsessed with phones. He has 2 old cell phones and an interactive Winnie the Pooh phone, but insists on talking on whichever phone we are on
  • has made crank calls to Uncle Paul, Grandpa Randall, Uncle Jeremy, and Bishop Moe using dad's cell when he wasn't looking
  • is very, very rhythmic. He loves to drum on everything and clap along to music, and he stays perfectly in time. He gets glued to the TV if something musical is on.

Using his cell phone to bang along to music on the radiator cover

  • still has barely any hair on the sides of his head, but tons on top and in back. I'm considering a full-blown mohawk...
  • plays so well by himself that I have to be sure I make time to play with him
  • just learned to push buttons on purpose, and now loves to drive me crazy by turning the air purifiers on and off
  • loves to share- offers his binky to all his stuffed animals and us
  • became best buds with Truman, my friend Liz's son who just turned 1. They pal around at church and Musikgarten, try to share sippy cups and binkies, and encourage each other to go exploring

        Trying to upstage each other- Truman won this round!

      • crawls at lightning speeds to get away from us so he can do something he knows he's not supposed to
      • keeps getting taller. A few weeks ago, he broke a vase I was positive was out of his reach- thankfully he wasn't hurt. He was actually quite thrilled with the accomplishment.
      • says "da-da", "ba-ba", "mm-mm", and "fuh-fuh" along with various other noises and babble-talk
      • still shamelessly flirts with people we meet in public
      • loves to suck in his cheeks to make a fishy face


      Monday, March 23, 2009

      Rhys: in Pieces

      Rhys is exactly 11 months old today! I can't believe my baby is about to turn 1! How did that happen so fast?? I've been looking through my last several posts and I realized that I haven't been giving enough updates on him lately. I think I worry so much about making sure he's not the ONLY thing I talk about that I stopped talking about him enough! Shame on me.

      So the next few posts are going to be a jam-packed list of adorable Rhysiness to catch you up on the last couple months. I started out trying to cram it all into one post- but I realized that only his Grandmas would make it all the way to the end of such an epic recap, so I'm going to cut it into bite-size pieces that might actually get read. Here goes the first installment:

      The latest and greatest things about Rhys (Part 1):

      • has gotten 6 teeth (4 top, 2 bottom) with a new bottom one on the way

      • eats solid foods like a champ- his favorites are bananas, baby carrots, and bread
      • switched almost entirely from bottles to sippy cups, and can also drink from a regular cup with help
      • has developed multiple ways to find and eat paper "incognito"
      • gagged and dry heaved on his first black bean until we took it out of his mouth, even though he has no problem eating paper and garbage of any kind
      • has started standing unassisted for a few seconds at a time

      • gives wonderful kisses & hugs- even to things like board games and the rug
      • decided his favorite noise is growling. At church last week while playing on the floor in the front of the chapel during sacrament, his binky bounced a few feet in front of him. He got on all fours and started growling at it. It was hilarious!
      • likes rolling his tongue over his top lip while making "lubba-lubba" sounds

      • loves to open and shut doors while laughing hysterically
      • has a ridiculously kicky leg. We've started calling him Thumper because when he's standing at a chair or in the tub, he always starts kicking his left leg out to the side for no apparent reason.

      What a lucky shot! The door game AND the kicky leg at the same time!

      Wednesday, March 11, 2009

      Honeymoon in Vegas

      So I'm just going to come right out and say this- being parents is much harder and much more life and marriage altering than we anticipated.

      David and I have been madly in love with each other from pretty much the moment we met. We've always been that disgustingly cute couple that hardly ever fights and is affectionate in public. We still get asked all the time if we're newlyweds, and get shocked looks when people learn that we've actually been married for almost 5 years and have a baby.


      We agree on almost everything- I kid you not. And believe me, it's not because one of us submits to the other to avoid conflict. We're two of the most stubborn, hard-headed, vocal, dominant, opinionated people you will ever meet. We're just lucky that we're stubborn, hard-headed, vocal, dominant, and opinionated about most of the same things. And when we do disagree on something we can (usually) make each other laugh about it and come up with a new "us" solution rather than a "my way" or "your way" decision. Because of this, we've had an incredibly blissful existence as a married couple.

      When we got married, we heard over and over again that the honeymoon would end someday. We would constantly get comments like, "Eww you're still kissing like that? That'll change soon," or "Wow, you guys don't spend any time apart? Give it a few years..." It got to the point where it actually started making us angry. It doesn't make us angry anymore. When we hear someone say that now, it makes us feel sorry that they don't realize it doesn't have to end. We've always believed that a marriage will stay as spicy and young as you want it to be and are willing to work to make it be.

      However, we had no idea how much harder you have to work at it after you have a child. It's not that you lose the "magic" or that your child becomes more important than your spouse or anything like that. Or at least we strongly believe it doesn't have to be those things. We're still madly in love with each other and we feel stongly about prioritizing our roles as husband and wife before our roles as father and mother. There's a great Ensign article by L. Tom Perry in support of this if you're interested btw. But because we are parents now, out of pure necessity we just end up with so much less time and energy to devote to each other. And that has probably been the hardest thing we've encountered in becoming parents.

      Lest any of you despair (or gloat for being right after all- shame on you!) we ARE still making it work and are still just as much in love with just as much "spice" as ever. The honeymoon is not even close to being over. Getting Rhys on a regular sleep and nap schedule has been a major contributor to this. Now you all know the real reason why I'm such a baby sleep Nazi ;) Also, trading babysitting with other parents so we can have regular date nights again has been another marriage (and sanity) saver. These things, among others make it possible for us to have energy left over to do the little things that make such a big difference like have patience with each other, express gratitude and appreciation, have time alone together every evening, etc etc. And all of it together helps us be better parents to Rhys.

      But even though these things are keeping our marriage young and strong from day to day- we could still really use a longer break to relax together, sleep in past 7 am, and not have to worry about getting home early to let the babysitter go home. So, since our 5th anniversary is coming up in July and since we were blessed with a great tax return this year, we decided we need a real getaway for just the two of us. We'll be living in Utah over the summer to save money, so finding a great sitter we can trust for Rhys wasn't hard at all- THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU HELEN! (David's wonderful mother).

      After much vacation research, we finally found an amazing deal for 5 days at Mandalay Bay in Vegas. We're going to go to the temple, see David Copperfield, ride some rollercoasters, spend tons of time at Mandalay's beach, enjoy a day at the spa, and spring for dinner and a gondola ride at the Venetian (about as close to our goal of making it to Italy for our 5 year as we're going to get)!

      I'm so excited! I think it will be an excellent way to get some uninterrupted rest, romance, and renewal. I'm also certain that in addition to being a great way to priortize and strengthen our marriage, it will also help us be better, more devoted parents to Rhys. I'm a huge fan of the concept of standing on higher ground before you can lift others. And because of that, I believe there is no better way to serve my children than to make sure their parents have a strong, loving, united marriage.

      Anyway- that was a really long way of saying, we're going to Vegas, baby!

      Sunday, February 22, 2009

      A thousand words...

      So not only do I not feel like writing much right now, I also don't really have the time. But my blog is getting sorely neglected (this seems to coincide with when I joined Facebook...do any of you out there who so enthusiastically encouraged me to join have anything to say to make me feel better about that? =)

      At any rate, not a whole lot has happened since my birthday that's super blogworthy anyway so I'm going to post a bunch of pictures I've been meaning to share instead that adequately sum up the past 2 weeks. Enjoy!


      On Valentine's Day, we finally made it to the top of Rockefeller Center to see the city- it was beautiful! And very nice to get "above it all" for a few minutes. The Empire State Building (behind us) was lit up with pink and red lights. The photo really doesn't do it justice- it was pretty amazing!
      The rest of the view. I swear that's all the pollution you can see. David thinks it just the clouds. Either way- pretty cool looking. I still can't believe I really live down there somewhere...

      The famous Rockefeller ice skating rink. At $30 bucks per skater, this is probably as close as I will ever choose to get =)

      Here you go, mom- this one was taken just for you! Maybe someday I'll make the trek down in the morning and try to get one in person for you...

      Same goes for this one (the Today Show set)

      We waited for 3.5 hours to get seated for dinner at the Olive Garden in Times Square. Low-blood sugar + wall-to-wall people + a wait time that goes an hour longer than promised = 1 irritable Heather. So it was a VERY good thing for everyone involved that we got seated right before I was sure to lose it and tell New York City exactly what I think of it, and that this ended up being our view.

      One more look...just to make my blood pressure go down after remembering that wait.
      Side note: At 11:00 as we were finally leaving with full bellies and happy countenances, we heard the host telling people that it was now a 4 hour wait. Hold the boat. Doesn't that mean a 3 am seating? That's exactly what it means. So I guess we were the lucky ones, after all!

      Back to everyday life. This is one of Rhys's favorite things to do while I wash dishes. I have to believe it's the way that cupboard door is cutting into my leg that's making me look so hippy...

      I just couldn't help myself...is that wrong?

      This is how I found Rhys when I got up to leave a visiting teaching appointment recently. He'd gotten a hold of an orange crayon and drawn all over his face and shirt with it.

      Thanks for the exersaucer Grandma Barbara! We are both loving it!

      David wanted you all to get a feel for what grocery shopping is like. My heart is palpitating just looking at this! This is actually one of the wider, more logically organized isles...

      These guys can't get enough of each other. They really are best buds. It's so sweet to see Rhys freak out and crawl to David as fast as he can when he comes home.

      Rhys has started giving really great hugs and loves. We can't get enough! And I just have to say thank you to David for being such an adoring, involved Daddy and helpful husband. He doesn't even take a minute for himself when he comes in the door at night- he immediately takes over and plays, feeds, bathes, and puts to bed so I can finally sit down and chill.

      Wednesday, February 11, 2009

      Happy Birthday to...ME!

      For my 28th birthday David surprised me with tickets to Wicked. The show was actually the week before my birthday so I got to celebrate twice- hooray! While I wasn't as impressed with Wicked as I was hoping, it was still entertaining and it was really fun to finally get to a show here. It was FREEZING outside, so even though this picture turned out blurry, we felt too bad asking the nice passerby to try again...


      On my actual birthday, we saw Coraline in 3D at the
      Ziegfeld- and boy was it a proper introduction into the NYC movie-going experience. Imagine red velvet and gold decor, vintage movie star photos, chandeliers and a theater that spans about the length of a football field, and doesn't incline much more than one either! I don't know HOW the people at the back watched the movie without binoculars! While we definitely enjoyed the novelty of being crammed into old-timey movie seats with a $30 price tag, surrounded by 1200 people talking to each other and the screen in Brooklyn accents, we couldn't help but realize how spoiled the average Utah moviegoer is to have state of the art facilities, cushy roomy high-backed chairs that convert to loveseats, and blessed megaplex dinner trays all at about half the price! But I have to admit it was a pretty cool atmosphere to watch a dark, creepy 3D flick in.

      David made reservations for dinner and dessert at Serendipity afterward (I've always wanted to eat there since One Fine Day and Serendipity are two of my favorite chick-flicks and they make eating there look so fun!) On our way, we passed The Late Show, Studio 54, and Tiffany's. I was hoping we'd do more than just pass the latter, but since they were closed the only sparkly surprise I got was the flash from this stinkin' picture ;)


      Serendipity was awesome. I didn't realize that all the servers would be fantastically flamboyant gay men- which made the experience of getting served a gigantic ice cream sundae with a huge slice of chocolate mousse cake lodged in it even better!

      Blurry again! I don't know why I can't just have a camera that can take decent pictures! Anyway- check out the background and you can see how the entire ceiling is covered with different Tiffany lamps. The walls were plastered with all sorts of eclectic New Yorkish stuff too... it was like TGI Fridays meets NYC.

      All in all, it was a pretty great birthday. And yes, I did finish that whole sundae!